Dribblewharf and Wilkendarles
by twilightfan498
Summary: Harry and his sidekicks enter 7th year. I think it sucks, especially now the 7th book is already out. If you want to steal the plot, by all means go ahead. You don't even have to give me credit! Wow, what a deal, huh?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Note: Let's pretend, for the sake of this fanfic, that Dumbledore has survived the potion and Snape's spell, but Snape has still run away with Draco. Hermione has let Rita go, but Rita has ignored Hermione's threats. And, unfortunately, Sirius is still dead.**

"Honestly, Hermione," Ron Weasley complained, his red hair a large puff emerging from behind a long, scroll-like paper. "I think Skeeter might have based _this _story on fact."

"Ronald, you know perfectly well that Rita is always a heartless _liar _when she writes!" Hermione Granger retorted with a roll of her eyes.

Conversations like this usually served as an alarm clock for Harry Potter. Today Harry rolled over, fell out of bed, and then jumped up, clutching his wand.

"Really, I'm about ready to hex you two! Why can't you just get along for once? I'd like to get some _sleep_ every now and then!" cried Harry exasperatedly, jogging out of the Sixth Year Boys' dormitory and into the common room. He was dragging his dressing gown by the collar, had his toothbrush dangling sloppily from his mouth, and was shoving his glasses on as he yelled.

"Sorry, mate. But today, we have _reason_ to be yelling at each other!" Ron said innocently. "Dumbledore's found a new defense teacher for next year."

"Yes, and _Rita Skeeter_ has already found a reason to complain about him!" Hermione added disgustedly.

"Wha?" Harry said. His speech was slightly garbled because of the toothbrush still hanging precariously from between his teeth.

"Here, read it. And get _dressed_," Hermione said, shoving the paper under Harry's nose.

Harry shrugged the robe over his shoulders and read aloud:

"Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, has surprised us all again by appointing another non-human as a teacher at his school. Dribblewharf, an Arctic Goblin, is supposedly Dumbledore's trusted friend with whom he has placed the responsibility of teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.

'After all I had done to reform the staff at Hogwarts, I could not believe what had been done after I left,' Dolores Umbridge, a well respected, highly qualified employee at the Ministry of Magic stated. 'I cannot imagine what will happen at that school now that _more_ part-humans have been admitted to the staff.'

It is known that Dribblewharf does not speak any English and has committed several crimes. 'I am dreading the day when Dumbledore comes to me begging for help to get rid of the Goblin that is murdering his students,' Rufus Scrimgeour said solemnly.

I will inform you, my dear readers, when more is brought to my attention on this intriguing topic."

"You see, this is just another one of Rita's heinous stories," Hermione said. "This Dribblewharf will probably turn out to be a wonderful person- er, Goblin."

"We haven't exactly had the best luck with Defense teachers, Hermione," Ron reasoned.

"Well, he can't be worse than Umbridge. Look at her quote. She's biased against part-humans," Harry said. "But Ron has a point."

"Let's just wait and see. When we come back to school and meet Professor Dribblewharf, you'll see that I'm right, and you're wrong, just as usual," said Hermione confidently. "And if you don't hurry up, we'll miss the train."

Both Harry and Ron groaned.

"Fine. If you'll stop nagging us, we'll go get dressed. Agreed?" Ron said, annoyed.

"Agreed, Ronald. And bring your trunks down, I'll do a packing charm on them," Hermione sighed. "I don't want you making me miss that train, even though I wouldn't mind much if I was stranded in the library all summer."

"Thanks, 'Mione. You're the best," Ron said, and then, realizing what he had said, blushed scarlet and dashed out of the common room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Oi, where's Pig?" said Ron worriedly.

"Someone's stolen my wilkendarle …" stated Luna Lovegood absently, her long blond hair wound in a knot on top of her head. It was secured with an eyeball hair tie that seemed to be scanning the crowd for the missing wilkendarle, whatever that was.

"I've lost Trevor _again_!" cried Neville Longbottom.

"Why don't you try keeping him in a cage, Neville?" asked an ever-helpful Susan Bones.

"I keep forgetting to ask Gran to get one for me!" Neville wailed helplessly.

It was time to board the Hogwarts express, and not all the students were ready.

"Harry, Ron, Ginny! Quickly, follow me; I've found us an empty compartment," Hermione called out an open door. "Accio, trunks!"

Harry, Ron and Ginny, with Luna and Neville in tow, followed their trunks into the compartment where Hermione was already seated, reading the Daily Prophet.

"Have any of you seen my wilkendarle?" Luna wondered.

"What does it look like?" asked Hermione.

"It's a type of slippery, purple water plant…I think," Neville contributed.

"Oh, is that what it was? I thought someone had puked on the sidewalk," said Ron.

"Oh, no! I was going to bring it home to Dad so he could do research on it for the Quibbler," Luna said, faintly disappointed.

Hermione thinned her lips and cleared her throat. She didn't think the Quibbler, the magazine that Luna's father edited, was very reliable.

"Well, you'll all be happy that I've found your pets," declared Ginny. She reached up and pulled down an assortment of cages and baskets from behind her trunk in the overhead compartment. "I was already packed and didn't want you to have anything else to worry about. Neville, I transfigured a rock into this cage for Trevor here. You really shouldn't let him get away. I chased him around the second year boys' dormitory for about twenty minutes. After the first five, I started getting some funny looks."

"Wow, thanks, Ginny!" Neville looked at her with obvious admiration.

"Yeah, I wasn't worried at _all_. My pet was missing. That's surely something to be glad about!" Ron complained sarcastically, snatching the Pigwidgeon's cage from the pile on Ginny's seat.

"Thanks, Gin," Harry said, smiling, and took the cage from Ginny. Their hands touched, and Harry's cheeks turned bright pink. He quickly busied himself with casting a self-cleaning charm on Hedwig's cage and consoling a disgruntled Hedwig.

"If any of you care, I was talking to Professor Dumbledore just before we left," said Hermione.

"Of course we care! What did he say, Hermione?" Ginny said.

"I asked him if Harry could stay with us at- ah, well, you know where, instead of going to the Dursleys…" Hermione trailed off, looking pointedly at Harry, and then glancing at Neville and Luna.

"What? Oh…" Harry, suddenly understanding. "Er…Luna, Neville, Susan Bones was wondering if you two could join her and her friends for part of the trip today. Maybe now would be a good time? Better to go now then when you have to find your way in the dark."

"Alright…" agreed Luna.

"Okay. Maybe Susan likes Herbology! Good idea, Harry," Neville said enthusiastically.

Neville and Luna shuffled out of the compartment.

"Good, that gets rid of them. What were you saying, Hermione?" Ron said.

"Ron!" contradicted Ginny, giving him a "that wasn't very nice" look.

Hermione cast a soundproofing spell on the compartment and whispered, despite the security. "Dumbledore says that you can come with us directly to Grimauld Place, because you'll be turning seventeen this summer and the protection at the Dursley's will be lifted soon, anyway."

"Good. I'll never set foot in that house again," Harry said, relieved.

"Harry, Harry, this is _bad._ You'll never have been that unsafe! For all we know, Voldemort will come marching up to you in the street and blast you into smithereens," Hermione explained.

"You Know Who isn't that stupid! He wouldn't walk up to Harry in broad daylight and kill him! I mean, I know he's a b-" Ron was interrupted by Hermione.

"Ronald, why can't you just say _Voldemort_? And he's almost unstoppable; Harry still has several horcruxes to destroy before he's gone for good," Hermione reasoned.

"Just _stop_ it! I can't stand it when you fight! It makes every situation more difficult to deal with!" Harry shouted, his temper rising every second.

Ron was fuming and almost literally burning a hole through the window with his glare.

Ginny was clearly uncomfortable: she was staring at the Daily Prophet which was strewn all over the floor. Then she gasped, breaking the silence.

"Look! The aurors have a lead on where Malfoy and Snape might be!"

"What?" Ron quickly looked away from the window, all arguments forgotten.

"They found evidence of recent inhabitants of that mountain cave near Hogsmeade. You know, the one Sirius stayed in with Buckbeak?" said Ginny, gathering up the pages and sifting through them for more information.

"Who cares about Snape? I'm not scared of him. I'm not going to run and hide behind Dumbledore!" Harry said, still annoyed.


End file.
